The Story Behind Sandmark – Thirty Years of Friendship, Building, and Showing Up
Chapter Four: The Three Musketeers
Somewhere along the way, I started calling Mark, Duke, and Dave “The Three Musketeers.” After thirty years of meetings, road trips, golf outings, building conversations, family dinners, boat rides, laughter, and plenty of stories, the name just fit.
Their friendship really began through the Outer Banks Home Builders Association. Duke remembers that he and Mark were both fairly new to the board and pretty quiet in the beginning, but once Linda and I entered the picture and we all started spending time together socially, the friendship grew quickly. Dave remembers the three of them constantly crossing paths through committee work and association events, with some of their funniest memories coming from OBHBA golf outings. His summary was simple: they laughed a lot then, and they still do.
What I have always loved about their friendship is that they were also competitors.
They were three builders working in a relatively small community, sometimes chasing the same kinds of projects and serving many of the same neighborhoods. But instead of letting that create distance, they shared ideas, helped one another grow, and learned from each other. Duke says they were fortunate that there was enough work for everyone and that they openly exchanged business ideas along the way.
From there, the friendship only deepened.
The OBHBA led to the North Carolina Home Builders Association, and before long there were meetings across the state, leadership positions, conventions, and countless hours spent in the car together. Duke credits Dave with encouraging him to become involved at the state level, and when Duke brought Mark along, Mark jumped right in. The three of them began traveling together regularly, sharing information, talking about the industry, and laughing their way across North Carolina.
I can only imagine how many hours those three have spent in a vehicle together over the years.
And based on some of the stories I’ve heard, GPS probably should have been invented much sooner. Duke actually listed it as one of the inventions he wished they had had earlier—although he admits the road trips probably would not have been nearly as entertaining.
Those trips were about far more than meetings.
They were where ideas were shared, problems were talked through, and sometimes major life decisions were made.
Dave remembers one drive home from a North Carolina Home Builders Association meeting in Greensboro when he was considering running for a leadership position that could eventually lead to the presidency of the association. He finally told Mark and Duke what he was thinking and asked for their help. Neither hesitated. They pledged their support and then followed through for the next four years. Dave says he will always be grateful for that.
That kind of story feels very true to their friendship.
They celebrate each other’s successes, but they also show up when things are hard.
One of Duke’s memories has always stuck with me. After a fire damaged his office, he was facing the overwhelming job of clearing out burned furniture, damaged electronics, walls, and ceilings. Mark gathered a few guys from the association, and together they showed up and helped Duke clean everything out in one day—something that would have taken him weeks to handle alone.
Years later, when Duke experienced a serious medical emergency and had to be flown to a Virginia hospital for surgery, Mark and I picked up Linda and were waiting when he arrived. Duke was also in the middle of closing on an office and warehouse and assumed he would have to hire someone to move everything while he recovered. Instead, when he later stopped by the building, it was already empty and cleaned. Mark had organized people from the association, packed files, moved tools and furniture, arranged storage, and handled everything so Duke could focus on getting better.
To me, that is what friendship really looks like.
Not just the dinners and golf tournaments and funny stories.
It is noticing when someone needs help and showing up before they even have to ask.
Of course, there have been plenty of funny stories too.
Trips to builders’ shows in Florida, Las Vegas, and Atlanta. Days on the boat. Amanda apparently spending time tucked into a storage cabinet while I packed enough food for what Duke remembers as a possible Gilligan’s Island situation in case we somehow got stranded. There was dinner with Sam in Washington, D.C., where managers kept stopping by the table because they knew him through work.
And then there is Dave’s favorite Mark story, which involves an OBHBA fundraising fashion show, Mark in makeup and a dress, and apparently a mustache that ruined the illusion. Some stories probably deserve to remain safely in the archives, but I think after thirty years we can let that one out.
The friendship between our families has grown right alongside the friendship between the three of them.
Duke and Dave watched Amanda and Sam grow from little kids into adults with families and lives of their own. Duke says it has been a “storybook experience” watching the children of his close friends grow up with the same morals and work ethic as their parents. Dave says he has watched Mark and me remain completely committed to our family through both the happy years and the inevitable bumps and bruises life brings.
Their relationship with our family has never really stopped at the business association door.
In 2024, Dave even led Jett’s beach dedication, one of those moments that makes you realize just how many chapters of life these friendships have now crossed. When asked how his relationship with our family has changed after all these years, Dave’s answer was simple: it has only deepened.
The same is true professionally.
Over the years, all three men became respected leaders in the building industry. They served locally and statewide, encouraged one another to step into bigger roles, and became people younger builders could look to for guidance.
Duke says Mark has become a leader who has earned the respect of the industry. Dave says Mark’s confidence grew as Sandmark completed project after project, but one thing never changed: what he calls Mark’s “servant’s heart”—his willingness to serve others in the construction industry and in the community.
And I think that same spirit describes the three of them together.
Their careers have been intertwined with service, friendship, mentorship, and a genuine belief that helping someone else succeed does not take anything away from your own success.
In fact, it usually adds to it.
Dave said that what he received from the home builders associations was far greater than what he ever gave, both in learning how to run a business and in the friendships that came from it. Duke said one of the things he realized during COVID was how much he missed the companionship of the people he had met through the associations at the local, state, and national levels.
Eventually, the professional recognition caught up with all of that work.
When Mark served as NCHBA President in 2020, he had the honor of announcing Dave’s induction into the North Carolina Housing Hall of Fame. Five years later, Mark joined both Dave and Duke in that same Hall of Fame.
Dave summed it up better than I ever could:
“We started together and we will finish together… What a ride!”
Thirty years is a long time.
Businesses change. Industries change. People move. Children grow up. Careers evolve. Life brings wonderful surprises and difficult seasons.
And somehow, through all of it, these three have remained friends.
When Duke described Mark simply as “a gentleman,” that felt exactly right. When Dave was asked to describe Mark as a friend rather than a builder or association president, he answered, “He serves others.”
Those descriptions could just as easily explain why this friendship has lasted.
They have laughed together, worked together, learned from one another, supported each other’s ambitions, stepped in during difficult moments, watched each other’s families grow, and collected thirty years’ worth of stories along the way.
So when I call them The Three Musketeers, it is partly a joke.
But there is a lot of truth in it too.
Thirty years later, they are still showing up for one another.
And if there is one thing I’ve learned watching the three of them all these years, it is that the best relationships—much like the best homes—are built a little at a time.
With trust;
With consistency;
and with plenty of laughter.
And, every now and then, with someone in the passenger seat who actually knows how to open the trunk.